Category Archives: Discipline, Punishment, & Conflict Resolution

Dayna Martin on Bedtimes (Blog Post)

Co-sleepingIn a recent blog post, Dayna explains her approach as a parent to bedtimes, and answers some questions from parents in the comments section.

Last night, around ten, Orion told me he was ready to go to bed. He is only three years old. About an hour later, Ivy came crawling up the stairs and said, “I love going to bed!” She brushed her teeth, and snuggled in next to us and asked me to tickle her back.

All of my children love bedtime. I know it is because they were never forced or coerced to go to bed before they were tired and ready to. Living the Radical Unschooling life, we choose to respect our children’s natural sleep cycle. I believe this is the healthiest way for children to live, without a parent-imposed bedtime.

You can read the entire blog post at Dayna’s site.

Philosophical Parenting: Dealing with Toddler Tantrums (Video, 15 min.)

Stefan responds to the following question from a FreedomainRadio listener:

As a non spanking parent, what do you do with your toddler if he won’t leave the playground when it’s time to go? I’ve tried telling him I’m going and he’s going to be left alone and I hide so he doesn’t see me, but he doesn’t care.

German version:

The Facts About Spanking (Video, 17 min.)

The shocking science about the long-term effects of corporal punishment, essential viewing for every parent!

From the video sources:

Spanking by parents can significantly damage a child’s mental abilities and results in a lower IQ later in life, suggests a new groundbreaking study by researchers at the University of New Hampshire.  (themoneytimes.com)

Researchers found that harsh physical punishment was associated with increased odds of mood disorders, anxiety disorders, alcohol and drug abuse/dependence, and several personality disorders after adjusting for sociodemographic variables and family dysfunction, and that if harsh physical punishment did not occur, the prevalence of certain mental disorders might have been reduced by ~2% to 7%. (repeal43.org)

Researchers reviewed some 80 research papers on the effects of corporal punishment over the past 20 years and concluded that numerous studies found physical punishment increases the risk of broad and enduring negative developmental outcomes; no study has found that physical punishment enhances developmental health; most child physical abuse occurs in the context of punishment; a professional consensus is emerging that parents should be supported in learning nonviolent, effective approaches to discipline. (repeal43.org)

Children who are spanked as 1-year-olds are more likely to behave aggressively and perform worse on cognitive tests as toddlers than children who are spared the punishment, new research our of Duke University shows. (utexas.edu)

Parent Effectiveness Training (Book)

P.E.T. Book Cover

P.E.T., or Parent Effectiveness Training, began almost forty years ago as the first national parent-training program to teach parents how to communicate more effectively with kids and offer step-by-step advice to resolving family conflicts so everybody wins.  This beloved classic is the most studied, highly praised, and proven parenting program in the world — and it will work for you. Now revised for the first time since its initial publication, this groundbreaking guide will show you:

 

  • How to avoid being a permissive parent
  • How to listen so kids will talk to you and talk so kids will listen to you
  • How to teach your children to “own” their problems and to solve them
  • How to use the “No-Lose” method to resolve conflicts

Using the timeless methods of P.E.T. will have immediate results: less fighting, fewer tantrums and lies, no need for punishment. Whether you have a toddler striking out for independence or a teenager who has already started rebelling, you’ll find P.E.T. a compassionate, effective way to instill responsibility and create a nurturing family environment in which your child will thrive.

Buy Parent Effectiveness Training Online at Amazon

P.E.T. is written by Thomas Gordan. Who is Thomas Gordan, and why should you pay attention to him? (From Wikipedia):

  • American clinical psychologist
  • Pioneer in teaching communication skills and conflict resolution methods to parents, teachers, leaders, women, youth and salespeople
  • In 1962, introduced Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.), a course which is widely recognized as the first skill-based training program for parents
  • To date, the P.E.T. book (revised in 2000) has been published in 33 languages and sold over five million copies. Over a million people have participated in the course in 45 countries around the world.